kattykitty92

Today is Halloween. Sorry it has taken me so long to write. A lot has happened in the past month. First week my Pepere died, next week Scott broke up with me, the week after I got a new kitten and my friend moved in with me, 2 weeks later I had to get rid of my brand new kitten due to my asshole of a landlord. Today I was asked out by a boy I know, he seems pretty cool, a bit odd at times, but as am I. What could it hurt to try hmm? A date couldn't hurt, it's probably better that I try. Today I won prettiest costume in the Halloween assembly, though, I was the only one entered. But hey, a win's a win. Well i have to go cause the friend (that moved in with me is being a bitch) 

i am being a red and black harlequin and I do not know how to show you a pic. At this point in time.

    I’m extremely excited to see Scott tomorrow >w< He will be home in a couple of hours, I will be home sometime tomorrow morning. Wow, I can’t believe how strong I feel for him. How much I love him, that at just the simple thought of seeing his face. Of looking into his eyes, seeing his smile, hearing him laugh, having his arms around me, it’s euphoric. Simply having him near me, the thought of being in the same room with him again, it seems a little silly, but it delights me. I can’t wait to be able to just throw my arms around him, simply because I feel like it. Talk to him about anything I want to at the time. Cuddling up to him, resting my head against his chest, kissing him, intertwining my fingers in his. Feeling his warmth next to me, I feel as though my eyes will tear just thinking about being that close to him again, I cannot wait.

 

~Nada

    Well, I’m a little better today I guess. I talked to my grandfather a bit about my mum and he listened. It’s cool talking to him because he keeps thing straight no matter if I’m a kid or not. He understood how I felt and it was really helpful to talk to him about it and he actually listened. I got some vervain at a wiccan shop here and it made me happy. Vervain is used to block out psychic intrusion or attacks. As well as I found out how to get some grapevine which I need so I can make peter a dream catcher. Anyway, on the way back to the house I called Scott on the phone and talked to him. He’s going to be home tomorrow >w< I hope we get back Sunday night, or Sunday afternoon. Either way, lol. I miss him so much! I can’t wait for him to put his arms around me. Well anyway, we dropped my little brothers back home, John, Jared, and Alan, are all in Portland, and my mum just went off to have a ladies night out with my aunt. So at the moment, I’m here with 3 old women, and some of their sons/grandsons are showing up later. Oh well, I get to see Scott in about 2-3 days. >w< I’m so frickin happy!! ^w^ Well, I’m going to go write some more in my story. So…ttfn!

~Nada.

            Well, I’ve been having a great fucking day. We are on our way to Maine now, though we were supposed to leave a couple days ago, procrastination got the best of John. Anyway, earlier today I asked my mother if I could go to a table top game this upcoming tues or wed with Scott and some of our friends at his mom’s house. Well, of course, my mother being the way she is, said no. When I asked why she said, what do you think? Then I said why again esp considering there were going to be about 8 other people there and we were going to his mother’s house. She said ‘cause he’d be driving me there. I’m like WTF? Brynn and Shayna will be in the car too! (friends of ours). She just continued to say no. I’m so fucking pissed at her. She continues to make it clear that she’d rather see me with my friend peter than Scott, which I hate. And the fact that she told me herself, that I should experiment with guys other than Scott as long as I was on the pill. I’m like…WTFH??!! I mean, I have to wait until I’m 18 when it comes to Scott, but any dude my age is okay as long as I’m careful? WTF she’s pretty much saying, “It’s cool to be a whore with guys your own age, but if you’re in love with the guy, hell no!” I mean, he fucking lives in AZ it’s not like we’re hooking up every day or some stupid shit like that. Grrr. It looks like I’ll have to sneak out to see him, which kind of pisses me off. I mean she said as long as I was honest with her about it ,than it’d be ok. Now that I’ve been honest with her about it, it’s bitten me in the ass! So it looks like I’ll be forced to lie to her. Seriously, I think she doesn’t care so much that I’m having sex, I think it’s just her not wanting it to be with Scott. This is stressful as hell, I love him, I only have sex with him, Goddess help me. Well it looks like my mother is a hypocritical liar, and I’m going to have to lie to her. Oh well I suppose, Mum did raise me to fight for what I believe in, for what I want. God she pisses me off.

 

~Nada

Sneak onto a plane to AZ 

Well, since the night before last my mother continued her display of opinion. My mother would much rather see me with my friend peter than my boyfriend Scott. Now, I'm not sure if I've written this in any of my entries, but Scott is my Edward Cullen. I am Bella Swan and peter is my Jacob Black.  I have been stressed for my mother has begun to show her opinion on my relationship status. She would rather I were with peter, yet I love Scott. She is now saying, that I should not tie myself down to one guy (what tying?) and be with more than one guy. Esp when it comes to sex, "cause even though you should wait till you're married, it's good if you play around with a couple guys first. cause if you wait till after it can get complicated." Okay, for one thing........not going to have sex with peter. Two, originally with the whole sex thing, she had said for me to wait until I was 18, now I think she may be referring only to Scott on that front. For the other night she said, I should experiment with peter, after I got on birth control. Granted she was drunk, but still, that's frustrating as hell, the fact that she doesn't want me going anywhere alone with the one guy I love. Yet I can have sex with my best friend if I'm on the pill?

WTF?!!!

I don't fucking get it, what does she want from me? I only have sex with one guy, he lives in AZ so it barely ever happens anyway, yet she's pretty much encouraging me to move on and get down with some of the locals my age? I don't see why she doesn't want to let me go anywhere alone with Scott, he's the one and only person I've "been with" yet my friend peter comes over all the time and is all over me. Though for some reason, unknown to her, she just trusts peter. At this point I want to tell her to take a flying leap.

So that had me worked up today. As well as I have been unable to get a couple books I wanted to get that my mother promised we'd go to get, now two days ago. I've been waiting to get these books for a long time, as well as my mum broke her promise. I don't like it when people don't keep their promises.

Though after having a shitty day, Scott started talking to me, and I felt better. I cannot wait to see him in what should be 4 days from now >w<. To be able to have his arms around me, to be able to kiss him like we do in my dreams at night. To be able to just be with him. The anticipation is killing me >.< Well I'm gonna get back to talking to Scott now. Bye Bye

~Nada

 Well, 5 days. 5 days until I can feel his arms around me. 5 days until I can feel his lips against mine. 5 days until I see Scott. I am so happy ^^ He seems intent on bringing me on my first time skinny dipping as well. The other day he did this survey his friends asked him to do, then after he asked me the questions and I answered to the best of my knowledge as they pertained to him. Then I took the survey and he did the same. We both only got 2 wrong, one of them was the same question. Anyway, one of the questions was, "Have you ever been skinny dipping?" He said he thought I had, and he seemed a bit surprised when I told him I hadn't. Well long story short, it seems he is going to make an excuse to go up to his grandparents house on the lake(while they are in their vacation home) and take me skinny dipping. I'm excited and I hope I get to.

    Though at the same time, the thought of my mother continues to rise to the surface of my brain. I doubt she will let me go anywhere alone with Scott. Oh well, I'll either beg or sneak.

    I hope to be getting a cat soon. Originally everyone wanted a dog, but due to my landlord's assness we will hopefully be getting a cat. Today I went to the cat shelter in town with my little brothers to check out those cats, for the hell of it. Then I found my cat, she is beautiful. She's pitch black, bright green eyes, and she's a year old. If my mum's boyfriend John doesn't let me get her, I know I'm going to cry. Technically I was promised a puppy for my 15th birthday after our old dog Galleghar died. Well I'm becoming extremely tired, and though I have much more to write, I will be unable to tonight. Especially considering Scott's absence. So I will say goodnight and pleasant wishes to anyone reading.

kattykitty92 is my username on many a site. katty kitty sounded cool to me when i was younger, like kitty cat, but with a unique twist. and 92 of course being the year i was born, considering most sites require numbers in an username, it's conveniant to be used to it.

Scott, I guess I usually end up writing about him because he's pretty much always on my mind.

Well today was very uneventful,  didn't even end up changing out of my p.j.s. My mother got extremely drunk, my brother Wade annoyed the hell out of me, and I miss Scott like the polar bears miss the icecaps. I just remembered I have to work tomorrow, and I don't get my paycheck till Friday. Today I found out, even though I earned and worked for $80 worth Fri and Sat last week I'll only be getting baout $50 on Fri due to taxes. -_- they suck. Well I'm going to go write some more in my story. Bye bye

~Nada

Yes, I miss someone very much right now. The things that make me miss him are all the time we spent with one another. July 1st we met, and we were insepperable.  Our saturdays together, watching movies at his apartment laying with one another on his bed. Our first kiss, the way he makes me laugh. His arms around me, being able to look into his eyes, the first time he cooked stir fry for us. Eating chef boyardee with him and him thinking it was weird that I ate it cold. Everything makes me miss him, and so many things remind me of him.

My boyfriend has had a terrible weekend. I want to beat the hell out of my little brother wade. But now Scott and I are talking on ventrillo and I'm a bit better. Ugh, I don't think I'll be able to go to Mayhem fest this summer, my brothers being here and all.  graagh! Well I'm going to go continue talking to Scott and maybe write some more on one of my stories.

    Today was my second day at work.  I ended up cleaning everything about 3 hours early and me and Kori ended up sitting there for 3 hours talking and eating. I made tips and worked the cash register. Put mustard on a hot dog, and even prepared toast for a couple sandwiches. lol, it was pretty dead considering it was a Saturday. But we got about 50 people as is, which was kind of cool especially considering it was a Saturday. I cannot go to ConnetiCon, though my mother has promised that I can go next year. I hope she remembers. I seem to be getting farther and farther away from getting a puppy. My landlord's a bit of an ass so I think maybe one of these days I'll just come home with a puppy and tons of supplies and ask my mum to help me name it. lol. We had a huge ass rainstorm while I was at work, during it nobody came in. Though I did end up writing a small poem. The rain made me think of Scott, i miss him >.<. (Scott's my boyfriend by the way.) I wish I could just mail myself in a box to Arizona. What sort of pisses me off is that I had everything set up for me to go down there at the beginning of July and 2 days before I was supposed to buy the ticket my mother found the airline schedule in my pocket and thought I was going to run away. She said there was no way that I was going down there without adult supervision. Lol I told her technically Scott could be considered an adult. She didn't seem to like that little comment. I was so torn up when she wouldn't let me go, I had been planning for months, and I was so dead-set because nobody else had gone down to see him and I thought that was ridiculous. She told me I had a better chance of building an igloo in hell than going down there. Then she said if I went without her permission she'd move me to Maine into my Bible thumper of an Aunt's house. I'd end up living with my aunt, her 3 daughters, and her doofus of a husband. Living in her basement, home-schooled, and off to church every sunday. At first I thought I'd do it anyway, but then it hit me that if I moved to Maine then I'd never see Scott so, I have to wait. And it's tearing at my heart, because I had been so close, and I failed. I think it unfair for him to always have to be the one to come up. Tonight I'm sort of tired and part of me wants to go to bed, yet another part of me is arguing with the fact that I have not gotten to use the computer today and my brothers both have. As well as I want to work on a story I'm doing. I write erotica, and I actually am working on 2 at the moment.  At this moment in time i wish I could just throw my arms around him, or I were laying next to him. Like when we used to go out together, all we'd really do is go back to his apartment and lay on his bed watching movies and t.v. together. But being there with him, just sharing that time with him not doing anything, was the best time. i looked forward to our Saturdays every week. As soon as he dropped me off Saturday nights I'd be waiting for the next Saturday. It always took too long too. Well I'm going to see if I'm awake enough to write for a bit then I will go to sleep. Goodnight, pleasant wishes to everyone.

~Nada
 

Tempe Arizona

    Today i started my first job, and I loved it. I am officially making more an hour than my mother, which is totally awesome!!! Though she does make more money in tips her bing a bartender/waitress. Though still, makes me feel pretty B.A. Now I get to pay taxes -_- oh well i guess. Having a job puts things into perspective. Graaaaargh!! I miss my boyfriend, he's coming in a couple weeks, I cannot wait to wrap my arms around him. Granted dreams are great, and they help at times, sleep dreams and daydreams, but actually getting to touch his skin, to be able to be close to him and just, be there. I cannot wait, the anticipation is making me nuts. This Sunday I should be going to ConnetiCon with my friend. I will be going as L (Ryuzaki) from DeathNote, and she will be going as Misa Amane. I really hope I get to go. I was about to say something but now I cannot remember what it was. Oh well I suppose, I really hope I have good dreams tonight. For anyone reading this I wish you happy lives and pleasant dreams.
Goodnight,

~Nada

I start my first job this Friday and I am psyched! I am working at a new place called Mojo's down the road from me. Since having this job will enable me to make and keep my own money, I am needless to say excited.

As well as my boyfriend of more than a year now is going to be visiting at the end of August. I haven't seen him since May 7th, that being the last time he visited. He goes to college in Arizona and he rarely gets to come back here to Connecticut. I am ecstatic to be seeing him again, yet at the same time my mother will not allow us to go on a date without "adult supervision" on account of us having sex last time he came up. I suppose I understand her hesitation yet at the same time I think it unwarranted at times. Considering he is the only guy I have ever "been with", and he I love him with my entire being. It's not as though I go around whoring myself out to all of my guy friends who like me, I wouldn't, because I'm not in love with them. I think she should be at least a slight bit comforted knowing it's only one person I'm with, and it's with so much love. That being better than "hooking up" with a bunch of people. I really hope by the time he comes up to visit I can persuade her to allow me to go on a date alone with him.

Well I am going to go now, so....bye bye.

~Nada

I guess I'd want written whatever my family truly thought of me.